I’ve been fighting it for the last 2-3 years but I think I’ve finally accepted where I’m at in terms of my weight and what I need to do to not only get it off but to also start being more health conscious. I think I was in denial for the beginning and then as the weight crept back on it was more like I no longer trusted the process for taking it off. For me it felt like losing weight the first time was a one-shot deal and it wouldn’t happen again. Bizarre thought but it finally clicked with me about two weeks ago that that’s how I felt. I could now pinpoint the issue and deal with it head on.
My other revelation is that I need to start taking better care of me. I’m not just talking eating right and exercising. I’m talking emotionally and mentally, too. I put myself on the back burner for the passed few years and stopped making myself a priority. I’ve mentioned it in some previous posts but I would forego exercising just so I could get into the office early and get started on my work for the day or skip the gym in the evenings because I felt like I had to rush home to start dinner for my husband and take care of what I needed to in terms of laundry, cleaning up, etc. Then I realized my work still got done if I went in on time instead of an hour early and that my house didn’t fall down just because I went to the gym instead of home to do laundry and put food on the table. What a concept!
So I’m starting to slow down. Last time I checked my husband is a grown man and can fend for himself in terms of getting dinner and if he has to re-wear a pair of underwear because I didn’t do laundry then he either needs to use extra deodorant or just go ahead and start helping with the laundry. Love you honey but seriously it’s now about me. My health and happiness depends on it.
I’ve also come to the conclusion that I may not be able to change my circumstances or surroundings but I can change my attitude in how I react to things. A lot of times I was making myself miserable, especially at work. I can’t change who I work with and how they work (or don’t work!) but I can change how I react to them and how I deal with them. It was like a load was lifted off my shoulders and I started feeling a lot less stressed at work. Not sweating the small stuff has been amazing!
Do I still have a lot of work to do? Yes, absolutely! But my mindset has changed. I’m living one day at a time and being more thankful for the life I already have. Loving ME right now has become my #1 priority; it’s a strange feeling that I’m not quite used to but I’m enjoying every minute of it….
Finding My Inner Fabulousness 